Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)

and the Approval They Stopped Waiting For

Two best friends who fake their success for the girls who bullied them, and then walk back in as themselves. What it teaches about a kindness that was a joke, living for an audience that never liked you, the queen bee who needs her friends to agree, and the thing you were mocked for being the thing that was most yours.

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997). Directed by David Mirkin, written by Robin Schiff from her play Ladies Room. Mira Sorvino as Romy White, Lisa Kudrow as Michele Weinberger, and Janeane Garofalo as Heather Mooney.

“I don’t care if you like us, ‘cause we don’t like you.”

Romy White, to the girl who ran high school.

This page belongs to Plot Twist. It is a refusal, and the gentle issue between two hard ones, Ordinary People and Rosemary’s Baby. It is also a friendship film, the fourth in the series, and the silliest, in the best way.

Like every entry on the Plot Twist page, it reads a story for the pattern it teaches, and makes no claim about anyone’s diagnosis. Christie, the queen bee, is the closest thing the film has to a villain, and the film deals with her the way most of us wish we could have: not with revenge, but by walking past her.

The Story

In high school in Tucson in 1987, Romy and Michele are bullied by the “A-Group,” the popular girls, led by the cheerleader Christie. At the prom, Romy asks Christie’s boyfriend, Billy, to dance. He agrees, and he and Christie trick her into thinking he’s left Christie for her. Romy waits all night for the dance. Billy has already gone home with Christie. Michele dances with Romy instead.

Ten years later, the two of them share an apartment in Los Angeles. Romy is a cashier at a car dealership; Michele is out of work. They’re happy: dancing, eating junk food, making fun of movies together. Then they hear about their ten-year reunion.

Afraid of how they’ll look, they decide to fake it: a borrowed luxury car, business suits, and a story that they invented the Post-it note. On the way, they fight about the lie and about each other, and decide to part ways at the reunion.

At the reunion, the lie falls apart. Christie and her friends mock Romy, who runs out. Michele comforts her, and they make up: no more trying to impress anyone. They change into bright homemade outfits and walk back in. Christie sneers at the clothes; Lisa Luder, a former A-Group girl who now works at Vogue, says they’re good; and the other A-Group girls leave Christie standing alone. Sandy, the boy who loved Michele in high school, now rich, asks her to dance. She says yes, if Romy can dance with them.

Six months later, Romy and Michele have opened their own fashion boutique, selling their own designs.

What It Gets Right

A great deal. It lets two women be silly, loyal and happy without anyone’s approval. It shows the thing most reunion films miss: that the people who were cruel to you at sixteen often haven’t changed, and that it doesn’t matter. It lets a friendship fight be real, and lets the friends make up. And it ends with them building something of their own, from the thing they were mocked for.

What It Teaches

1. The dance that was a trick

At the prom, Billy tells Romy yes, and she believes him. It’s a joke he and Christie are playing on her, and she waits all night.

Many of us had a version of that at sixteen: a kindness that turned out to be a setup, laughed about by people who knew. The Decoder’s Card 21, Weaponized Humor, is “Hostility disguised as jokes.” It’s still there ten years later, in Christie’s voice: “Nice outfits. Post-It’s must be really lucrative!” And the thing that got Romy through that night is the thing that gets her through the reunion: Michele, who danced with her.

2. Faking it

Romy and Michele are happy with their lives until they imagine how those lives will look to the people who were cruel to them. So they build a lie: the car, the suits, the Post-it story.

Many women know the pull of that. The wedding, the job title, the right outfit, arranged for an audience that never liked us anyway. The film is kind to them about it. The lie isn’t a sin. It’s just a sign they’d started believing the A-Group’s version of who they were.

3. “We only did it because we wanted you to treat us like human beings”

When the lie falls apart, Romy says the true thing out loud, to Christie’s face: “Michele and I did make up some lame story. We only did it because we wanted you to treat us like human beings, but you know what I finally realized? I don’t care if you like us, ‘cause we don’t like you. You’re a bad person with an ugly heart.”

That’s the refusal. Not revenge, not a comeback about Christie’s life. Just the moment Romy stops needing her approval, and says so.

4. “Don’t we girls?”

Christie tries one last time. When Lisa praises the outfits, Christie turns to her friends: “Well, we still think they’re ridiculous. Don’t we girls?”

That’s Card 47, Flying Monkeys: recruiting other people to carry your opinion for you. And this time it fails. Lisa says, “Why don’t you just let them think for themselves for once?” The other girls look away, and then walk away. A queen bee only has power as long as the others agree to hold it for her.

5. “Only if Romy can dance with us”

Sandy, the boy who loved Michele in high school, arrives rich and asks her to dance. She says yes, on one condition: “Only if Romy can dance with us.”

It’s the film’s answer to the prom, ten years late. The man is welcome. The friendship comes first.

6. The thing they were mocked for

The outfits Christie called hideous are the ones the woman from Vogue liked. Six months later, Romy and Michele open a shop selling them.

That’s the quiet lesson under all the jokes. The thing you were mocked for is often the thing that was most yours. You don’t have to hide it until the right people approve. You can just start.

Four Friendships, Side by Side

	Waiting to Exhale (1995)	Mystic Pizza (1988)	Romy and Michele (1997)
What they refused	Waiting for the right man	Being used, paid off, or rushed	Needing the popular girls’ approval
Where it’s set	Phoenix	A fishing town in Connecticut	Tucson, then Los Angeles
What they built	The table where they tell the truth	A balcony, and each other	A shop, from what they were mocked for

Friendship films in this series keep ending the same way. Whatever the men and the mean girls did, the women held, and made something.

If You Grew Up on This

Many of us watched this with a best friend, and quoted it for years. Nothing on this page asks you to stop. The useful thing is to look at it clearly from where you stand now.

Some questions to sit with:

Was there a kindness, when you were young, that turned out to be a joke at your expense?
Have you ever arranged your life for an audience that never liked you anyway?
Who is the person you’d say “only if she can come too” about?
What were you mocked for, that turned out to be most yours?
Whose approval could you stop waiting for, this week?

Romy and Michele walked back into the reunion in the clothes they’d made. The girls who mocked them walked away from each other.

You’re the audience now. You don’t need them to like you.